WIP - WATCH ME NAE NAE

Ang labo ng title. Parang ako pag may PMS. Hay.

WORK IN PROGRESS KASI!

So! A little miracle happened this week when we had our weekly design meeting with our boss. Gusto na nya ng colorful sa 2016 SMDC Calendar. I want to make it different this time. I didn't use any of our existing photos from our library but I vectorized the buildings and added little/simple details just to fill lang the canvas.

I recycled some items from my previous work -- the LRT, Coca Cola cup and the trees. I made them for Mezza II Residences' vicinity map (2013) na hindi naapprove. Kung papalarin, baka maisama na tong mga to dito. (Lord, sana po maapprove kasi full po ang effort ko dito. As in. Lumilevel sa dugo't pawis. Ganern.)

Sana maapprove. :)

Yun lang ang panalangin ko ngayon para hindi ako umiyak. Haha!

AFTER A FEW HOURS UPDATE

Dear Blog,

After I posted my sad entry earlier, I browsed my previous years' post and realized three things: (1) i always feel sad. Like it's my default emotion. Oh Sadness, where is Joy? I thought I need to be sad so I can find Joy? I imagine blue and yellow core memory and Joy trying to kick Sadness out of touching the crystal balls. (2) I find joy when I observe and make a list of my observations. And (3) when I blog about my travels.

What else? I browsed my bucketlist. And I smiled when I saw that there are items I need to cross out already. Like, getting a passport, and some other stuff. Yes, I have my passport already (finally! After 8 years of planning to get one, meron na din!) And I look forward to blog every little details of my "out of the country" trips next year. Lord help me. :-) i want every pages of my passport stamped! (Including visas)

FIGURES AND SPEECH

Dear Blog,

When it's that time of the day I am trying to figure out what the hell I really want to do. I wanna try amigurumi, I wanna do handlettering (which I already spent some good amount of money buying calligraphy/brush pens, and a book just to put an end to my very little progress) i wanna join bazaars so I can sell some of the keychains I made and sell stuff to the people I think I share the same interests. I wanna go back to drawing but I stopped after filling the first page of my sketchbook. I wanna join the hiphop class in the office every Thursday. I wanna go back to playing badminton, I wanna be a samurai (because they're cool), I wanna plant trees, I wanna be in a rescue team, I wanna join SWAT, I wanna be a vampire, I wanna smash a zombie's head and there are sooo many I wanna do's right now.

There were days when I'm so happy I want to do things and I plan them in my head and discuss it excitedly and make a list and sleep. But when I wake up the next morning, there's my default blank thoughts doing the same routine - wake up really tired, ride the stressful LRT, wait for the cramped shuttle going to MOA Complex, walk, wait for the elevator, sit in front of my computer and think: what the hell am I doing with my life? What the hell am I doing here? How the hell did I arrive here? Like I teleported from nowhere. But let's be honest. Somehow, we've been through here. And no kidding, it happened to me already. When I plugged my electric fan in the office, I realized how did I get in here? I told no one about this not until today. And for two straight days now, I am feeling depressed and unproductive. The more I try to figure out what's happening to me and unable to get REASONABLE answers, I am sinking into the same blank hole again.

Sometimes I cry. Not because I am a coward but my heart is really heavy and that's the only way to get a decent 4-hour sleep. And recently, I noticed that when I pray at night, I don't finish my prayer anymore. You know why? Tulog na kasi ako. Last Saturday, nagising ako in the middle of my sleep dahil sa paglalakad ng mga tao sa taas, I thought it was noon already only to find out at that it was 5:21 in the morning! Pagod na pagod ako that night. And I was furious. I want to shout and throw myself out the window but instead, I prayed. I am not a religious person but I believe in Him. I just said, please put me into a deep sleep so I wouldnt hear a thing. I woke up 1PM after that prayer.

Tonight, I will pray. And thank Him because I am loved despite my sadness. I may not know what I really wanna do right now but things will be better soon. Malalaman ko din kung ano bang gusto kong gawin bukod sa pagdedesign at sa kagustuhan kong maging samurai.

I am feeling better now. Goodnight world!

NEW DESKSTUFF ITEM: SHAUN'S CHALLENGE

McDonald's Shaun the Sheep Happy Meal

I don't know how to call this little entertaining thing but it serves its purpose pretty well. The game's objective is to try to catch that red ball into Shaun's yellow thingy. As simple as that. It kept me busy for 30 minutes. :-)

Wala talagang kwentang post ito. Haha! Gusto ko lang magkaron ng bagong series. Deskstuff. Ye!

DESKSTUFF

Hindi naman talaga ako collector, but these are the things I hoarded for the past two years. Yung iba, matagal ng toys. Then the others, gifts. I collect even Cinema tickets, stickers, pictures, in which, you guys are also guilty. :-) I am just happy displaying these items in my office desk. I spend most of my living (living talaga, hindi gising) time here. I think I live here already. I need to ask for the building admin's permission so I could set up my bedroom kahit sa loob ng storage area. I could ask Daddy Henry Sy Jr. na lang pala for my bedroom here. :-)

Le desk. The computer and everything else. I want to keep it tidy kaya medyo konti yung mga nakadisplay. 

Coca Cola bus tin can, more mini cars, Lego logging truck and McDonald's dangling coffee cup.

I pin all the interesting and memorable finds/letters here. My favorite is that Mockingjay pin I got from SM North EDSA's Cinema guy (the guy who runs the cinema  at the projection booth). And that advance movie screening of Home because I won a Mowgli Vinyl Figure at their contest.

That's my Mowgli. Another techdeck finger board, Luke Skywalker and Hawkeye Mighty Muggs Figures, Penguin hand cream and Annie's wash tapes. 

My favorite display. It includes two  mini vans, and two techdeck finger boards. (Not in photo: Kre-O Transformers Custom Kreon)

Yup, I'm sick.

Madami pa yan. I kept them until mabilan ko sila ng glass display area, (SHALA!) para hindi sila madumihan.

WHAT'S KEEPING ME AWAKE, DOC?

I slept 12 hours straight yesterday. I am still awake at 3:30 on a Monday morning. And I have to go to work later. This sleeping needs to be tamed! It is getting out of control. This is just so sad. Namumutla na ako because of this.

What's keeping me awake anyway? The word "lie" and anything associated to it. People find it easier to lie. Bakit kaya? It's just sad again. 

That pup keeps on barking/crying every one hour. I need to attend to her. Hay. 

Some Facebook account I wrongly stalked earlier. I can't get over his kagwapuhan. He's so nakakagigil. 

The internet again! Damn it. 

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WELL GOD, THIS IS FOR YOU!

Tonight, I did something I wasn't able to do for the past four years and it made me really happy. Thank you Lord for everything. Thank you for our home, thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends and thank you for making me happy.. :-) I can't thank you enough for this peaceful mind and loving heart. 

Just wow. Thank you! 

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OLAF

I am thinking about Olaf today. That cute little snowman from the animated movie, Frozen. This dialogue is running in my head for hours and it is driving me crazy - "I don't know why but I always love the idea of summer!" 

Like, why? 

Here's why: because Olaf doesn't have an experience with heat. 

But in the Philippines, it's as if you're living beside a pugon. And I hate summer. I hate heat. Kahit saan ako magpunta, mainit! Even in the office. In my area. Sana may magawa ako tungkol doon. I could cry and throw an eternal tantrum because of heat. I swear. 

Let it snow, let it snow, can't take the heat anymore. Let it snow, let it snow, turn away and slam the doooooor!! 

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FRUSTRATED.

I can't sleep again and it's starting to really frustrate me. I stopped browsing the net early, I haven't eaten anything, haven't consumed caffeine and I went to bed early. I am not even sure if I fell asleep already. My head is really heavy but I can't sleep. My situation is really frustrating. I can't think properly at work, I am sleepy in the afternoon and my memory is really failing na. I don't know what's happening. I'm not even depressed.

I need to work today and I always have little time for everything. We've been pretty loaded this year and I need to keep up everyday. I have so many artworks to revise as in araw araw. Deadlines are everywhere! I can't survive another day drinking Cobra. God, it's gonna cost me my life. I can't go back to bed now. Sigurado akong hindi na naman ako magigising ng tama. My eye is twitching for weeks already. I really want to get a decent rest. 

God help me.

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2014 YAY MOMENTS!

So many good things happened for the past months and it's really awesome! 2014's been good to me. I owe this awesomeness to just One and I know despite of all my shortcomings, You will love me for the rest of my life. Thank you, thank you. Let's do this together. Yay!

1. I had a good 12-hour straight sleep last night! Yay! 

2. We had movie and merienda kahit may dysmenorrhea attack ako. Yay!

3. Yesterday is an awesome day dahil malamig ang hangin habang naglalakad sa labas. Yay!

4. I received a surprise Mary Grace ensaymada from EdJames last Tuesday kahit feeling ko bribe nya yon. Haha! Joke lang. Yay!

5. Nakasabay kong pumasok si Sir Eric at nagtaxi kami papasok ng office. Hindi ako naharass sa LRT. Yay!

6. Sir Ali gave me a CamperVan Hotwheels last Friday! Yay!

7. I had Mogu-Mogu and Combos tonight. Yay!

8. I spent so much time with Sarah Geronimo under one roof (again) last Month! And more kilig moments with her. Yay! Yay!

9. We went to Ms. Toni's for a boodle fight, booze, dancing, singing and playing. Oh and Miggy time.. :-) Yay!

10. I received my SLA certificate and I saw my savings from September to November with 6% dividend. Yay!

11. I have my multi-million peso savings now. And it's growing fast because of dividends. Kidding. Ang sarap sabihin kung totoo. Pero, I saved enough money to spend for Batanes with accom and roundtrip regular airfare plus other expenses, one week. I could go there three times tapos hindi ako mawawalan ng panggastos paguwi. :-) it's been the highlight of this year. Pinaghirapan kong isave for a year and a half and thanks to my Ate for saving and growing it for me. Thank you for convincing me that I need to do that before I turn 30. Thanks to SM SLA for helping me control my expenses and to BPI for earning me a little dividend every month. I love you all most especially my Ate. :-) Yaaaaaaaaaaay!! Think positive lang!

12. For the first time in 7 years, I received an excellent sa appraisal. I know everybody in our department received the same results but I didn't expect for myself. I am just happy about it. Not bad for a first timer. Yaaaay!

13. I tried ice skating already! But the boots are uncomfortable. Yay!! One thing off the bucket list!

14. We planned for the ultimate trip of our lives. Eurotrip! Yay!!

15. God called Wednesday last week. I went to Greenbelt chapel. Homily was for me. :-) yay!

It's easier to count things like these when you're happy. It's not everyday naman na happy ka because you get sad and tired from time to time but then again, that's life. I'm just glad I made it through 2013. God is there talaga. Hope, Faith and Love will keep you going. 

Cheers for more yay moments! 

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