A RUBBER BAND TIED AT MY HAIR

Lifted from my friendster blog dated June 5, 2009

What the hell do I really mean about it by the way? Has it something to do about why the f*ck am i writing here again? Hahahaha! don’t get me f*cking wrong.. I am just literally mad about something. and sure i am not happy about it.

Thanks to my best friend who lifts me up and ate chicken with me earlier. Boy, im so f*cking frustrated. My life is actually like an all purpose rubber band. So strong on the outside and trying to be strong on the inside. (I dont know if i am making a sense here but what the hell?!) I actually experienced being hit by a rubber band when i am trying to squeeze all those goddamn papers at the office. I thought it’s all freakin’ strong. (Cuz it says on the label: ALL PURPOSE) am not dropping any product name, i don’t want to be sued by telling the whole world about it.

THE BAND

getting back, it was so f*cking swollen cuz it really f*cking hurts! hahahaha! my life’s just like that.. my life is the rubber band, unconsciously hurting people and trying to be whole again by depending on the person who will still make a good use out of my broken band. a twist, a tie, a pull and VOILA! i am still of good use. People will keep using me for they know that i am still elastic, will never complain cuz that’s what i want by the way.. be used and feel happy about it. it’s not negative.. but i believe i am letting other people use me cuz i want to be inside their circle. a circle i thought will never break. boy i am wrong again.

THE HAIR

the hair is my feelings.. i don’t feel pain when i am wrapping up my life (RUBBER BAND) to my human emotions. (HAIR) (What the hell?! HUMAN?!) all i want, is to pull my hair out of my face and don’t give a damn if my hair’s all messed up. but when i remove the rubber band, no wonder, i’ll feel like a crap and curse the whole world about the itching and the painful feeling. and will leave my hair all wavy. am i making a sense? now, i am actually on the verge of really breaking down cuz of something that i am not expecting. i am not really sure if i am hurt, but what i am aware is that this is not a good feeling. i want to scream, i want to point a gun at that person’s face and let that person smell my anger!

AM I REALLY ANGRY?

i guess i am.. because if not, i will not spend a single centavo in this cafe shop somewhere near Forbes. we have an internet at home. But i’d rather release all these anger here than go home and feel so f*cking bad about myself.

Makati will always be the city of lights for me.. it will never go dark, (as dark doesn’t really exist) it’s just what we call in the absence of light, right? i hope it will stay that way forever. i know it will..

Or will it?