WHAT THE FUCK AM I STILL DOING UP LATE AT THIS HOUR?

Lifted from my friendster blog dated December 2

Allright again, I thought the battle with my sleeping habit’s finally over. I am definitely wrong again. It’s 3:15 in the morning. I had just finished doing Riyah’s pakiusap and the thought of blogging made clear to me.

Allright, so what are we going to talk about today? It’s been how many months since I last dropped a line here? And boy was I upset that day. I can still remember the reason why. Very clear to me.

Just a few months back, I learned something really upseting and I sensed victory all at the same time. First, because I thought it ended. I thought the person decided to end the unusual relationship she had, few years ago. The reason why I AM victorious because I know, deep in my heart that she’ll never become happy because of these reasons:

1. she ended up being the number two. What’s disgusting about this is that her live in partner has a long time boyfriend. (Yes, they are living together)

2. She will never know what she really want unless she gave herself a chance to know things beyond the usual.

3. What I thought about her, are true. And that’s the reason why I decided to cut the bridge connecting our worlds.

You see, it is not always bitterness and other painful stuff that keeps people from moving on. It is that simple thought of how better and how happy life there is with that special someone. And now it’s over. Her best days will be some of the guy’s worst. In my case, it is not. I proved myself wrong for the nth time. Even if I am seeing someone today, I still ask myself, is it all worth it? Yes, it is. I keep on reminding myself to find a reason to stay happy each day. A friend once told me: you have to go through the phases so if it happens to you again, you know how to bounce back. Very true. I still thank her for this. I cannot forget how her patience brought me back to life. For this, i always smell victory. I always feel blessed and accompanied. I became closer to my family. I see a lot of my friends. I get in touch with my old old friends. A lot of things happened. And for these, I am grateful.

Happiness is not about being into a relationship you know won’t last. It’s not about getting laid and scream each other’s name while in heaven (hahahaha) It’s about finding your soul, getting up from battle, waking up without worries, giving yourself a chance to know what matters most and finally, being with someone destined to be yours. No questions asked, no hesitations, no other things.